ass juice

Emma and Caleb are chill cats that get along with pretty much everyone they encounter. They won Courtney over with their good looks and charm.

Although, there are times when I wish we had a dog instead of the cats…Emma used to have this problem where she would jump up onto my lap, and before I knew it there was a strong smelling oily substance on my shirt (or “ass juice”, as I prefer to call it). She would quickly jump off and start cleaning her rectum.

This pissed me off, because I thought she sprayed me with ass juice on purpose. Turns out, she had an anal gland infection that would occasionally rupture when she jumped onto my lap.

“Hey Kourteous, can you be more specific about this ass juice substance?”

I sure can, thanks for asking!


You see, cats have anal glands (see the above diagram) that secrete a stinky oily substance when they poop. As the feces passes it puts pressure on the glands, causing the ass juice to naturally drain.

If the poop isn’t solid enough, the glands will not drain – causing them to fill up with the ass juice. This may lead to an infection like the one Emma had experienced. But don’t worry; it is an easy fix at the vet!

cuddle club!

When I took Emma in for her checkup, I informed the vet about the problem. She smiled, and said “oh, her anal sacks are probably infected. I can take care of that!”

As she put on some rubber gloves, I was told to hold her down on the table. Before I knew it, the vet had her fingers all up in that shit. Emma howled as she was being violated. In no time the problem was solved! All she needed was a finger up the pooper.

Yesterday Caleb got his ass juice on my shirt when I picked him up. I guess he will be in need of a good ol’ anal probe from the vet sometime in the near future.

Say what?!?!

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