oh rats!

There are several different kinds of pranks – some destructive to property, others not so much – the main goal usually shoots for a certain level of shock effect on the people that experience it.

An acquaintance of mine pooped on a paper towel in the high school bathroom, and placed it in the vending machine. The unsuspecting victim accidentally grabbed his turd while blindly searching for the candy bar she just purchased…not cool. Pranks like that are just plain gross.

The one I came up with was harmless. My plan was to release a few rats in the cafeteria during lunch, and watch people scatter…

The town where I grew up didn’t have a pet store. The closest one was in a nearby town, thirty miles north – so a couple friends and I made the short trip. When we arrived, the store didn’t have any pets, and the cages were being taken out. It was closing for good, but the employees told us where the closest one was, forty minutes away.

When we arrived, I explained to the lady that we wanted six rats. She eyed us up as we searched for the ugliest pick of the litter, and placed them in a box full of air holes, no questions asked.

The next day, the three of us were giddy with excitement. The box filled with rats was safely stored in my locker, waiting for their lunch time début.

When the time came, we each took two rats – one in each cargo pocket – and headed off to get some grub. The excitement was too much to bear, so we spilled the beans to the table of friends that were dining with us. Because of the overabundance of security cameras, it was important that we didn’t look suspicious, in the event that someone examined the tapes.

Straight faced, and ready for some giggles, we began sliding the rats across the floor. Their claws allowed them to slide fairly easily, before they took off running…one…two…three…four…five…It worked like a charm – girls screamed, people scattered, we giggled and ran with the crowd. But wait, there were six rats. Where was the sixth?

One was kept for choir! BRILLIANT! After warm-ups, the sixth rat was released. Where did it go? Straight for the soprano section! Those were the highest shrieks I have ever heard. The fun was short-lived. All of the rats were caught by the custodial staff, and placed in a cage in the science department.

We had our fun, the rats got a new home, nobody was hurt, and nothing was damaged. Now that is what I call a prank!