Friends come in all kinds of personalities. It’s what makes friend groups interesting, and fun to be a part of. Despite the shortcomings people tend to have, there is one thing that holds friend groups together – love. Yup, that’s right! (Come on, it’s Valentine’s Day) By accepting others for who they are, we become better people.

In moments of weakness, there is nothing better than having a good friend by your side for encouragement.

Rough night...

Road trips are fun. The people you are with make the trip exciting, not necessarily destination. In high school, my friends and I took a trip up to Minneapolis. We crashed at my friend Benton’s cousin’s house – four or five girls lived there. They let us polish off all of their cheap liquor in the basement where we all slept (girls not included). It was a rough night, and an even rougher morning to say the least…

I woke up to what seemed to be a punch in the face, and an intense pain on my shoulders. I was being pinned down. Benton was hovering over me, his knees on my shoulders, and a giant dildo in hand – the kind that is so big, even a seasoned hooker would blush – he continued to slap me across the face with this dildo that he found hidden in the basement. I was freed after a while. Despite the unpleasant dildo beating, we continue to be friends.

Some of us have an interesting definition of the word "fun"

Other times, a friend will admit to doing things so disgusting, only true friends continue to stand by your side. For instance, when my friend Eric told me that he had puked and shit his bed, I didn’t judge. God knows I’m the last person to judge a nasty shart story, since I’m what you call a “repeat offender”…

To put this story into context, Eric was really sick and resting in bed. There wasn’t enough time for him to find a garbage can to throw up in, or even get out of bed before the explosion occurred. As he violently puked in his bed, the force also pushed out everything on the other end – leaving an unimaginably sloppy mess. When he was finished, he threw the soiled bed sheets in a Rubbermaid bin, and placed the lid on it. Here’s the kicker – it stayed in his closet for about a year and he didn’t throw it away until he moved out. Why? I have no clue. Moral of the story is, despite Eric’s disgusting experience I didn’t judge him, and we continue to be good friends.

 Acceptance of others is the key to solid relationships. So on this Valentine’s Day be sure to let the people in your life know that they are loved – even if they beat you with a giant dildo, or shit themselves – after all, no one is perfect.

Lessons learned:

  1. It’s not very courteous to beat a friend with a dildo.
  2. If you shit your bed, promptly discard the sheets.



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